The Sign of life!

How often did we have the time and inclination to enjoy the message (intended as well as unintended)conveyed by a roadside sign board?Composing a sign board text is not as easy as one takes it to be.The choice of apt words and phrases that should ensure bevity without sacrifising clarity is indeed not everybody's cup of tea!Let's now embark upon an interesting journey through this "Sign of life".

1.Sign board in a crocodile park:Swimming is prohibited.Survivors willbe prosecuted.

2.the signboard at a shipping bay warns pedestrians of speeding trucks thus:"Warning!Truck area.Pedestrians not allowed.Violators will be squished."

3.The sign board at a concert hall has a request to the audience:"When lights begin to dim before the show, please set your cell phones and small children on vibrate."

4.Sign board outside a church:"Want to go to Heaven?Flight lessons are given here."

5.A sign board warns women-visitors to a factory thus:"If your dress is very loose, be carefulwhile approaching the machines.If they are very tight,be careful while approaching the workers."

6.The cocktail lounge of a prestigious club has this request to make:"Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

7.The name board of a Barcelona travel agency:"Go Away."

8.Sign board outside a laundry:"We dye for you."

9.Sign board in a double decker bus:"When you exit ,please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.If you miss your step and hit your head ,please lower your voice and watch your language."

10.An ad. message in the kennel column of a newspaper:"Golden Retriever.Very cheap.Will eat anything.Loves children."

11.After driving all the way up to the office building,a customer to a travel agency was startled to find this board :Please leave your car outside.

12.Sign board outside the workers restroom in the office: New incentive plan.Work or get fired. 13.The ad. message for a mosquito repellant."Do not donate blood--to mosquitoes.Use 'nomos cream'.

14.Ad. message inserted by a popular launderer:"Dear customers!Do not spoil your precious clothes by washing them at home.Bring them to us.We will do it systematically for you ,using our sophisticated machines at a nominal cost."

15.The sign board in a zoo warns visitors thus:Please donot feed the animals.If you have anything,give it to the guards on duty."

16.The signboard outside an ENT Clinic announces its services in a beatiful way:"See no evil?Hear no evil?Speak no evil?May be we can help."

17.THe low doorway to the breakfast room of a restaurant had this message painted in bold letters."Duck or grouse."

18.The sign board outside a huge national park in Chennai: Asia's largest oxygen factory.Absolutely sound-proof.

19.The sssign board in the men's room was rather perplexing.It said "4U2P".On careful reflection one could guess it meant"For you to pee."

20.Outside a grocery store:Wanted two part-time perishable clerks.

21."Hot cow's milk available"said the board near a man serving milk to customers with a cow tethered nearby.When one of the customers complained voceferously that the milk was not hot,the man replied,Touch the cow.It's hot,standing in the sun.I sell hot-cow's milk!.

22.Customers to aliquor shop found,to their amazement a donkey beingat the other end near near a board that said:"For additional kick."

23.The sign board outside a private news channel:We have more live reporters than any other channel.

24.Sign board outside a drug store selling oral contraceptives announces:A pill a day ,keeps the doctor away.

25.Ad. message of an adhesive:Joins everything except broken hearts.

26.Ad. message of for a body spray:"All's well that smells well."

27.The name board of agarage owned by one Nagaraj says it all:NAGARAGE.

(readers are welcome to supplement to this list)

Freedom-- From What?

"Freedom from fear is the freedom I claim for you my countrymen..."said Tagore.Fifteenth August provides us with yet another opportunity to introspect how many types of fears have we conquered over these61 years.while the entire world is currently seized with genuine fear of Islamic Terrorism India is no stranger to it.Right from the day the first Mullah led his hordes through the Khyber Pass in 10th century AD our very existence as a free nation has been eroded and Islamic Terrorism has been consuming people and property in snowy mountains to shopping malls and has now entered into hospitals aswell.On the Independence Day, from VVIPs to 'aam admi' every one had to be scouting for the lurking 'Jihadi' .This fear will continue till the last Jihadi walks into 'jannat'.Kashmir has become the embodiment of fear psychosis of late.It is becoming a malignant tumour in the head of our nation.The POK is beyond our bounds'de facto' and is likely to become 'de jure'too what with the political establishment on the verge of recognising the current LOC as the international border with Pakistan,though the constitution forbids any part of soveign India including POK.By Article370 J&K is exempt from many laws that are applicable to the rest of the country.Many other constitutional provisions are declared redundant .The operation of even the 'residual'laws are subject to the approval of the J&K Assembly!It means invariably that the state can over rule the Centre__an Independence within an Independence!The present turmoil raging in Jammu-Kashmir,--rather Jammu Vs Kashmir is over the denial of India's land for the use of Indian citizens!What about 'Economic Freedom'?Though politicians shout from roof tops that more and more people arerising above poverty line,they have few takers.The truth is that the 'booming middle class' is chasing goods and services that it does not need.Where can one expect economic freedom when the middleclass has bartered it to a virtually life long EMI?According to the "aam common man",borrowing is better than begging and a better moral option than stealing.What about the huge chunk of the population thatare in bondage to poverty?Even 60 years of quotas,quotas and more quotas not to speak of free colour TVs,have brought little succour to the truly oppressed.The entire nation has again no freedom from corruption.How we wish that we get our driving licenses and ration cards from lifeless robots that work rather than from a bored clerk doesn't!And with robots the grease will not be on the palm at least!MERA(FREE)BHARAT MAHAN! (Inspired by an article in a local newsletter)

How clean is MrClean?

The image of MrClean of the Union govt. has undoutedly taken a beating in post Trust vote scenerio.